1. Let go of the past. Throw all your "garbage" awaaaay!
You've learned your lesson in the past. In order to start fresh, you should let go everything which happened in the pasts. Your ex's either the first or the the recent one. Whether it's the one that you loved so much or hate so much. Doesn't matter anymore wouldn't they? It's over. When I say: "throw all your garbage away" it means, you have to stop thinking, or talk about the pasts. Whether it's a good thing or bad thing, keep it to yourself. Don't bragging about it. To be specific, STOP CARRYING YOUR PAST! It's difficult for you to keep moving forward when you keep dragging all the rubbish with you. You have to learn how to let go.
As for me, I accept the fact that the previous one is over. And I believe that, it's time for me to move on with my own life doing my own thing. I know it's not as easy as it sounds. But, it worth a try. I made myself clear to them that I would appreciate not the contacted by all means. I wish them well & tell them to move on as well. I would clear up everything that I could find, the pictures, emails, text messages, & etc, so I won't find myself digging or bump into any of these rubbish. Avoid any possible contacts either emails, calls, messages, chats by black listing them would be great.
Why? why would you want throwing away all the so-called memories?
I know it sounds mean. But, trust me. It's for your own good. I gave my best & it doesn't work even I've tried to make it work. So, I've no regrets. Yup. There is something good in the pasts, and well of course there is also something bad. However, it's time to give someone else the chance. It would be better if you could manage to let the pasts, stayed in the pasts & make room for the present one. Make new fresh memories. By throwing all your garbage away, you'll be amazed how you can manage to focus on the present one. You'll be happier of course.
As for me, I accept the fact that the previous one is over. And I believe that, it's time for me to move on with my own life doing my own thing. I know it's not as easy as it sounds. But, it worth a try. I made myself clear to them that I would appreciate not the contacted by all means. I wish them well & tell them to move on as well. I would clear up everything that I could find, the pictures, emails, text messages, & etc, so I won't find myself digging or bump into any of these rubbish. Avoid any possible contacts either emails, calls, messages, chats by black listing them would be great.
Why? why would you want throwing away all the so-called memories?
I know it sounds mean. But, trust me. It's for your own good. I gave my best & it doesn't work even I've tried to make it work. So, I've no regrets. Yup. There is something good in the pasts, and well of course there is also something bad. However, it's time to give someone else the chance. It would be better if you could manage to let the pasts, stayed in the pasts & make room for the present one. Make new fresh memories. By throwing all your garbage away, you'll be amazed how you can manage to focus on the present one. You'll be happier of course.
2. Improve yourself.
By the end of your relationship, take your time to analyze and you'll know what have gone wrong and from there, you'll know which area to be improve & develop. Maybe in the past you've being: a control freak, wished to change to partner the way you want them to be, jealous for no reason, expect everything to be perfect, too depending, & sort of other stuff.
I've learned that: I should not attempted to change people. Because I've realize, to change people who doesn't want to change is a waste of time & energy. What I could do is to change my perspective and try to accept them as I could try to or change my place which in my situation, finally, I've decided to end the relationship and move on. I've learned that nothing is perfect. I should lessen my expectation towards someone, or anything. And I've learned not to be defensive & be open for a change. Which I believe is good for me.
And of course, I'll give my best every now & then. Maybe it takes the right person to see it.
By the end of your relationship, take your time to analyze and you'll know what have gone wrong and from there, you'll know which area to be improve & develop. Maybe in the past you've being: a control freak, wished to change to partner the way you want them to be, jealous for no reason, expect everything to be perfect, too depending, & sort of other stuff.
I've learned that: I should not attempted to change people. Because I've realize, to change people who doesn't want to change is a waste of time & energy. What I could do is to change my perspective and try to accept them as I could try to or change my place which in my situation, finally, I've decided to end the relationship and move on. I've learned that nothing is perfect. I should lessen my expectation towards someone, or anything. And I've learned not to be defensive & be open for a change. Which I believe is good for me.
And of course, I'll give my best every now & then. Maybe it takes the right person to see it.
3. Know your part & responsibility.
In every relationship, it takes both sides to make it work. Give & take instead of keep giving or keep taking. Toleration & compromise in almost everything to keep the balance. Both sides have their own part & responsibility in the relationship. Play your part well, give your best shot everytime in everything, so you'll have nothing to regret even if it doesn't work out. As I've mentioned: "Maybe it takes the right person to see it".
In every relationship, it takes both sides to make it work. Give & take instead of keep giving or keep taking. Toleration & compromise in almost everything to keep the balance. Both sides have their own part & responsibility in the relationship. Play your part well, give your best shot everytime in everything, so you'll have nothing to regret even if it doesn't work out. As I've mentioned: "Maybe it takes the right person to see it".
4. Let's the learning process begin!
Being with a new partner means you would have to start learning again. Try to get to know each other not just by asking, observing would be a good thing to do. Take your own sweet time. Enjoy the process. Make it fun. Make it exciting. Who know you've found the right one!
By practicing all of these, I realize that:
*I learned to forgive & forget.
*I learned to let go.
*I manage to let the past stayed in past.
*I make up rooms for the present & future.
*I enjoy get to know my partner.
*I'm amazed that I manage to clear up all the rubbish.
*By clearing up all the rubbish, I didn't compare my partner with the previous one even on the hard time. Well, is not a good thing to compare your current loved ones with your pasts. If you think the past is the great one or the best one, ask yourself: "Why am I here then?". My advise would be: "MOVE ON!!!" YOU'RE NOT IN THE PAST! ACCEPT THE FACT & AGAIN, MOVE ON!!!"
Being with a new partner means you would have to start learning again. Try to get to know each other not just by asking, observing would be a good thing to do. Take your own sweet time. Enjoy the process. Make it fun. Make it exciting. Who know you've found the right one!
By practicing all of these, I realize that:
*I learned to forgive & forget.
*I learned to let go.
*I manage to let the past stayed in past.
*I make up rooms for the present & future.
*I enjoy get to know my partner.
*I'm amazed that I manage to clear up all the rubbish.
*By clearing up all the rubbish, I didn't compare my partner with the previous one even on the hard time. Well, is not a good thing to compare your current loved ones with your pasts. If you think the past is the great one or the best one, ask yourself: "Why am I here then?". My advise would be: "MOVE ON!!!" YOU'RE NOT IN THE PAST! ACCEPT THE FACT & AGAIN, MOVE ON!!!"
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